Behind Closed Doors

It wasn’t long after I started on staff that I began to question the types of things that went on behind closed doors. I noticed that gossip was a way of life within the leadership. At first this really bothered me, but as I became accustomed to its frequency I crumpled under the pressure to conform and I soon joined right in. I began to rationalize away the concerns that I had about the massive gossip issue that any outsider would have immediately identified as wrong. I kept thinking that if my stress in ministry was any indication then the stresses of my leaders must be so much greater than my own, so they must need to vent their frustrations like they did. I quickly rationalized away every prick to my heart about what my leaders and I were doing as we sat around every day and discussed the “issues” in the congregation. The worst part of it was the gossip train soon had more passenger cars added to its line.
People within the core group of the congregation were soon in the know about each other and every other congregation member. Secrets were no longer secret. I soon knew of who had had affairs on their spouses, who had committed tax evasion and had almost gone to prison, and which people had been kicked out of prior churches before landing at ours… I soon knew every nasty detail about every congregation member’s life and so did everyone else within the inner circle.
Another issue that I noticed was how past members and past staff were discussed. When I started working at the church it had been open three and half years and in that time one worship leader had resigned, the youth pastor/worship leader had been fired and a volunteer secretary had been asked to resign. These three ex-staff members had left the church and moved on, yet the leadership discussed them on a continual basis. Horrible things were said about them constantly. Statements about their character, integrity and mental capacity were always being made. There wasn’t a week that went by when these poor people weren’t discussed.
People who had left the church were also discussed as well. Early on in the ministry, before I was staff, there had been a deacon board and one of the deacons had accused the Pastor of misappropriation of funds. The Pastors response was to dissolve the deacon board. After that, one by one, every single deacon left the church. Every time another ex-deacon would leave, the same story of how the Pastor was falsely accused would be rehashed and this time the newest member of the “I left the church club” would be defamed and gossiped about. It wasn’t just that way about the deacons either. Anyone who left the church for any reason was bashed and talked ill about (except if they happened to move to another state). Some people were deemed as backsliders, some were labeled as un-teachable, some were described as having some form of mental illness, and even some were suspected as having some form of demonic oppression or possession. The theme of all the labeling soon became very obvious; the church was never at fault, only the ex-members.
I wish I could say that the gossip was only limited to happening behind closed doors but it wasn’t. It happened from the pulpit as well. Names would of course be left out when leaders were preaching, but it was always obvious to most of the congregation who was being discussed and it was never in a positive light. These gossiped about people were used as constant fodder for examples of how not to live our lives. There were many times when entire sermons were made up of these types of stories with the occasional scripture thrown in. At times it was like the scripture was thrown in there as a stamp of approval to justify the behavior that was happening from the pulpit. Most of the time, we all sat back, shook our heads in approval and laughed.