Removing Yourself from influence of toxic fellowship

So, I had a conversation with someone today about cutting people out your life and this applies to the topic of spiritual abuse because there’s a common theme of spiritually abusive leaders: they don’t repent. I believe it necessary to remove yourself from the influence of false teachers and those who abuse spiritually.

So in the original conversation I had quoted 1 Corinthians 5 as to why we shouldn’t fellowship with those in unrepentant sin. And she responded asking me to share my thoughts on 1 Corinthians 15, Matthew 18 and 2 Corinthians 2 and this was the response:

So the Verse that jumped out at me from 1 Corinthians 15 was:

I Corinthians 15:33,34 Do not be deceived: Evil company corrupts good habits. Awake to righteousness and do not sin; for some do not have the knowledge of God. I speak this to your shame.

The entire chapter is addressing the issue of false teaching brought into the church against the resurrection. Basically denying that Jesus could have been raised from the dead and denying the deity of Christ. That’s interesting since it’s the very issue I have issue with with a big name church with international exposure and most people don’t realize that they preach against the deity of Christ, teaching that Jesus was JUST a man in right standing with God, which is a false teaching. But that’s a side note. This passage has more to do with a particular false teaching than anything else. But concerning your topic of cutting people out of our lives, we should be cautious and not deceived by those who follow and preach false teachings so I’d advise not to keep company with those people.

My advice isn’t to cut people off who differ in small things, like how women should dress in church, but in foundational doctrines of truth, like whether they deny the deity of Christ, the Trinity, or whether or not spiritual gifts are required for salvation! I would call that the Jesus plus something else gospel. For example the Jews insisting the gentiles be circumcised. That’s a works based gospel. There are some minor doctrines that John MacArthur and R.C Sproul argued about, like infant baptism, but they were great, great friends and brothers in Christ! Their banter on the topic makes me laugh! Their love was great towards one another despite their doctrinal differences, but on key issues, these men were aligned in unity.

Going on to Matthew 18. There’s a lot going on in there. Jesus warns of those luring those into SIN and it would be better if a person drowned with a millstone around their neck if they lead one of the little ones, children, or babes in Christ, as this portion suggests, astray into sin. This part is a warning to the disciples, and to us, not to be a person with a lifestyle of sin, that leads others into sin. I think people often forget that first part and focus on the offense part. Offense was sin. And the word offense in the scripture isn’t talking about our feelings getting hurt, which is what we often think of today.

Jesus is addressing leaders in this context, his leaders, his disciples, not to be the kind of men that lead others to sin.

So then there’s the parable of the lost sheep and I’m going to skip that so as to not be long winded and move onto dealing with a sinning brother. This is like I said prior about cutting those off from fellowship if they are unrepentant in their sin and like the verse I quoted at the top, evil company corrupts good habits. Then we look at the parable of the unforgiving servant. The gist of this passage is this man was forgiven a debt, but then refused to forgive someone else for an even lesser debt and was ungracious and unwilling. He was the man who was “caught” in his sin, but truly wasn’t repentant, because if he was repentant he would have realized that he was forgiven much and would have extended that same grace to another. There’s the rub with those who are sorry because they got caught and those who are sorry because they truly sinned. The Caught man plays the blame game, The repentant man humbles himself and gives grace to others.

So putting the whole chapter into context, in light of your topic, is the person a Caught man or a Repentant man and if he’s not the repentant man we should treat him as an unbeliever and whenever we have contact with them, if possible, we should share with them the gospel, also we should examine our own lives to see if we are leading others into sin, like Jesus warned with the millstone. How close are your non Christian friends? Our fellowship, closest friends should be with other Christians because bearing our soles to a dead man is a one way street. The dead man has really nothing to give you. We are dead in our sins apart from Christ. I accidentally looked up 1 Corinthians 2 instead of 2 Corinthians, but there was a verse that applied to what I just said. That chapter is talking about Spirit to Spirit and not going by man’s wisdom. In Verse 13 it says: These things we also speak, not in words, which man’s wisdom teaches but which the Holy Spirit teaches, comparing spiritual things with spiritual. That’s why I said what I said about the dead man. We, as Christians, if we are true believers, are alive in Christ and those who are not are spiritually dead. So when it comes to great relationships and growth, our best, closest and most intimate friendships should be with those who bring growth in our lives by speaking God kind of life. You can’t get life from a dead man.

Ok. So the last passage you presented for me. That one really spoke to me as there’s so much beauty in that passage. Paul’s heart as he grieves because he couldn’t find his brother Titus is precious. Also Paul admonishes the Corinthian church to give grace and forgive a brother and comfort him because it’s obvious in this passage Paul doesn’t want this BROTHER to be consumed by his sorrow. So commentaries I read all agree, that this brother was someone who had church discipline enacted against him because of his sin. Some commentaries suggest it was the incestuous man in 1 Cor 5, the exact portion I quoted. How interesting that this comes full circle! So the purpose of church discipline is always repentance and restoration and in this passage of scripture it’s clear, the discipline the church enacted worked and this man is clearly repentant so Paul is telling the church to forgive his transgressions and show the man love! What a beautiful, example of restoration! So there’s a common theme of repentance and having a heart towards repentance! Wow, if we all walked in repentance continually, then many relationships would be restored. But there are cases where there are those who refuse to repent and refuse to see their sin and for those cases I live by and teach my children Romans 12:18

If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men!

Do what you are called to do, if it’s at all possible, as much as depends on you, focus on yourself walking in repentance and forgiveness. Leave all the rest to God. But no where do I see where we have to have close intimate fellowship with someone who intends to bring harm, who is living in unrepentant, rebellious sin, or false teaching that leads to sin, especially if they claim to be a brother or sister in Christ. We are to treat them as if they are unbelievers, and have our speech seasoned with grace and present the gospel to them whenever possible. The truth will always be a stumbling block to some and the truth of the gospel is even a stumbling block to those who profess to be believers but may really not be. So many, many facets here. Hope I helped.