For those of you who want to start at the beginning and work your way through to the end here's a tip:
Click on the Archives in April and start at the post "In the Beginning". That is the start of my story and then just follow it through until the last post.
http://myjourneyfromspiritualabuse.blogspot.com/2011/04/in-beginning.html
I have to warn you though...my blog is not for everyone. Those who are religious and think it is sacrilege to speak out against injustice, just because it was my Pastors who did it, do not seem to like what I have to say. I read something recently and I have a response for those who seem to be offended by my candidness of what happened to me. It goes something like this: "we have been taught for so long against offence that we no longer get offended at injustice".
In the past, I have had to remind, even good Christian people, that pregnancy discrimination is illegal. I have had to point out that manipulation is not godly, nor is it love. I have had to point out that the employment practices that were practised by my old church were unethical, at best. If these things had happened to me while working in a secular environment, I would have had a crowd of supporters behind me. Instead, because it was my church leaders instead of the "evil, sinful, boss-man" of the secular world, I am labelled by some as a gossiper, or one who sows discord among the brethren.
Maybe I'm actually trying to unify the brethren and spare more people from the pains of spiritual abuse. Abuse is never good and it is only God who can take something awful and turn it around for good. In my experience though, things only change when we allow God to change them. Covering our eyes, like five year old children and thinking no one can see the abuse if we just imagine hard enough is pure foolishness. Whenever God makes a change in us, we have to acknowledge the existence of what God wants to remove first. It is only then that God begins the miraculous transformation as we allow Him access into our lives. It always starts with two things: acknowledging the problem, and acknowledging that we need God's help to fix it.
Spiritual Abuse is a problem in today's church and the solution starts with acknowledging that there is a problem. The good thing is God always has the solution and that only requires love and obedience.
This has been a clear and loving expose of the spiritual abuse taking place today in our churches. I am currently experiencing these same disturbing behaviors. It is easy to see why so many people avoid church. I don't know if I will ever go back. I do not blame God for this behavior on the part of church leadership, it is not Him who is abusive. The deception, the abuse of power, the manipulation, has taken them over and though I feel great hurt for those left behind, they must bear the responsibility for allowing themselves to be controlled rather than being free in Christ.
ReplyDeleteThank you Malinda for the courage it took to write these blog posts. May the Lord bring you complete healing and many blessings.
It took me over a year to find a church where I felt that I was safe. I'm now in a true Christ centered church. I'm not saying that they do everything right but their motivations are love and not self-centeredness. Give yourself time to heal and in time I encourage you to seek out believers who share the common bond of love with their Savior.
ReplyDeleteSomething the Lord just shared with me this morning is: Love is the catalyst for true repentance; the same holds true for forgiveness.
Somewhere along the way many church leaders have forsaken that love so they are no longer repentant or forgiving. So my prayer this morning was that love would bloom their hearts and in mine so that they would come to repentance and me to forgiveness.
Someone very close to me is caught up in a very similar situation. She has pushed everyone away and is basically a live in servant. Is there anything I can do to help her?
ReplyDeleteThe bait that draws most people to Christ is His love. "For God so loved the world that He gave his only begotten son..." The only thing that will drive a person away from an abusive church is the absence of love. Eventually they get so hurt and abused that they leave the church and often times this abuse scars the heart and it becomes very difficult for the abused to receive love. Often times they blame God because it was "his"people who did this to them. That being said....often times God's love is the reason why people are lured away from abusive churches. It does no good to point out the flaws in their church. I would rather try and point them to the love of God. Use love as the standard and ruler and "in love" guide them to use that standard as well. Pray and ask God how to show them the love of the Father through you that you might be an instrument of freedom and grace in their lives. I pray this site and my comment has helped you some how.
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